Cuz your friends are my friends, and my friends are yo’ homies

Posted On // 5 comments
In some previous post, I pointed out how nice it would be if you made friends with your kids’ friends. Great move for future surveillance purposes.

Now let’s talk about the converse: Let your friends be friends with your kids.

Wha??? Why?

Life Lessons behind this:

• Mang Napo is THE Papy of all time. He’s the first man I shared a crib with. He’s my father. Loved him to the max. Just a quiet man, always invisible at the periphery of my universe. This constant presence at the sides assured me of order, peace, stability. When he went away for a long vacation (ie., forever), I found out that this wonderful man was… well, EVEN MORE wonderful than I thought, based on what his friends told us about him!

How could it be possible? While it makes me happy that people regard him ever so highly, there’s a teeny part of me that makes me feel cheated. Why did I not get to meet the Napo of his friends?, this comic Napo, the Napo who cared for his work colleagues, the Napo they recognized as their leader and mentor? Traitor! Oh yeah, Mang Napo, this stuck-out tongue is definitely stuck out at ya! :-p

• Back in my nuclear-toxic days, it frustrated me that my family always saw me in the worst light. I always wished then that someday, they see me as I am outside the house. I wanted them to see that I had lots of funny anecdotes, that I can feel other emotions besides anger, that I actually knew how to … laugh. *Gasp. No!...*

• I always say to my kids “I am your mother. I am not a robot. I am human. I am not perfect. I get tired, I get hungry. I feel: I cry, I get sad, I can feel happy (really.), I want to love. I have sex (oh really… ???). I make mistakes, I suck at stuff (especially cleaning), etc etc etc… (This will entail another post)

- -

First time we lived on our own, I made the firm resolve to grab any opportunity to introduce the boys to my friends. I was all alone with two small boys. Could I ever wing it? I was surrounded by happy, caring people in the office. My officemates were not just colleagues, but felt more like family. Why should I pass it up?

And besides, it takes a village…


1. At the end of it all, I don’t want them to feel cheated. “How come these people knew THAT about her?” Let them be scandalized now so they can ask me about it.
2. I want them to see ME. This is the real me, kid. I’m a person, not just your slave by default. Watch me. I empathize, I care, I cuss. A lot. I may not be the best momma but I’m the only one you got.
3. I want them to learn I’m only human. Of flesh and blood I’m made. So if you boys want a sparkling clean house, go clean it yourself. Go ahead perfect mothers, scream as I exorcise you.
4. I want them to see who my friends are. So they can tell me who I are.

Bonus since it’s not all about me, unfortunately:

Builds their confidence to talk to another age group,

Mandatory to learn respect for the aging population (Yes, 30 somethings, that includes you in the eyes of my kids)

Learn empathy for the oldies as they learn by osmosis about our culture and way of thinking, etc etc etc.

And for my friends who I don’t get to see, rest assured I tell them about you. See Reason #4. Hehe, bloggey friends, you are so not exempted.


mrsbear said...

I think it's good for kids to see another side to their parents, it gives them perspective. Preferably not too much, I wouldn't want them to use it against me.

Great post. So moms are human too, huh? Who would've guessed?

I am Jamie Sue! said...

I LOVE THIS POST! I honestly think that we moms sometimes try too hard to be perfect.. so hard that we don't do the valuable job of teaching our children how to deal with failure, frustration, and aggravation.

Casey said...

Great post. You need an RSS feed, I keep forgetting to pop over here since you're not in my reader. I know, peer pressure at it's best.
I feel the same way as you, I have an entirely different side that my parents don't know about. My mom was so strict growing up that now it's hard to bridge the gap and be friends with her. I'm trying.... I'm going to let my kids see the different sides of me and hopefully we won't have that gap that my Mom and I share.

fairyflutters said...

LOL at being in the aging population!

I don't know about you - maybe I'm weird - but I have no real desire to befriend anyone's kids. I have my own to deal with and frankly, most of the time, other people's kids are kind of annoying unless they are super well behaved. (I do know a few that are.)

You know what I really can't stand? Is people who think other grown ups want to hang out w/ their kid. I have a friend who only has one kid and she actually brought her kid when we all went out to eat. We had gotten a sitter. If I'd known her kid was coming though, we wouldn't have gone. Sometimes adults want to just hang w/ adults.

All that said, I'd be polite to your kid. I swear. LOL

Kat@MotherFonker said...

Jamie Sue, you are geniehhs! i lurv ur insight.

Elisa, yeah, I've also steered clear of little kids. I'm more of a teen/ pre-teen coach back then, so I'm comfortable with the bigger aliens. My circle of friends are also the "older ones (late 40s, 50s)" so they're cool with kids.

I have also taught the boys the lesson that not all adults appreciate "their presence", so they should be careful. :-)