FOR SALE: Son who does Not Get the Humor of Parents Giving Away their Kids Online

I got a kick out of Carol's post in A Second Cup about giving away her child in her FaceBook status.

It was pretty cute:

Free to good home: One 18 year old male. Hard worker, pleasant and civil to everyone but his parents. We pay for shipping.

She then tells how parents like it, but apparently, a friend of her son's took slight offense.

Validating my good chuckle over this, I asked Jonesy what he thought: if it was offending or not.

He said yes, it was offending.

Hmmm... I expected better. I thought I was raising boys to have a humorous take on life. Apparently, needs more work.

Okay, now I want to sell him off.

Takers, anyone? Please? No one?

Yeah, I really should go sell him offline. So I won't be busted.

How about if I throw in a free pen for your purchase? No?





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Happy Thanksgiving, All.

Don't stress out too much on your preps that you'll forget to give thanks.

Mommies stress too much on giving, that we're always too tired to give thanks on this holiday.

Give yourself 5-minute breaks to shut out the hubbub. Just sit and go into a catatonic stupor. Yup, let them kiddies do their thing for 5 minutes. If you have really frisky children, let someone watch them for 5 minutes. If there's no one, ehmm... thank you for this piece of rope! (hehe, of course it's a joke!)

You can be surprised how a mere 5-minute break can lift you up you'll actually add that precious time to things you can be thankful for.

Have fun today!





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Teen Boys' Hair

Guess whose? The quintessential hair guy as dead as his hair.


My brother and dad were quite the low maintenance kind when it came to their hair (well, about everything actually) that I was quite fascinated with male characters in the movies who were bitchy about hair. "Touch everything! but my hair."

I didn't know it was possible with real life teen boys.

My tween (9yo only) has been refusing to have his hair cut for the longest time. He insisted he was growing it out. We ignored it, assuming it was just one of his harmless whims.

Then one day, he went to the barber and had the sides trimmed. Now he had this sorta short emo style hair.

That day when he first appeared at home, I heard big bro scoff as only siblings can "You're ugly."

I knew what that you're ugly meant. Somebody's enviousss...

Thing is: Tween's hair is straight and manageable.
Teen's hair is wavy, curly,stringy, frizzy and like its owner, has a mind of its own.
You only get to notice it if he grows it. He has a clean barber's cut all the time. Same and uniform, and now, in his standards, boring.

Little bro's new hairstyle got the wheels in my teen's hair, ehmm, head turning. He suddenly woke up that it's okay to have different looks.

So each day, I would at least once have to listen to musings over how to improve his hair. I've been hearing about hair rebonding, ironing, blowdrying, delaying a trip to the barbers, and can you please mom get me some wax.

(It is no secret that I am trying to raise metrosexual boys, so) I try to be supportive, at least.

I did get him some hair products, but I don't think he's doing anything, except switch the shampoo he's using to the same one I do use.

But still, agonizing... agonizing... agonizing...

Vanity can easily turn to neurosis(another pet issue of mine when it comes to raising boys. Something for next time). Let's see if this vanity leads to sticking straws - - into hair.






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Trying Hard to Encourage Mandarin

I want my boys to be multilingual. PH people are more or less fluent in English and Filipino, and now I'm dragging my boys to learn Mandarin.

Besides the usual reason that Chinese is soon to be the business lingua franca, I truly believe that multilingual kids are smarter and have a higher probability to be more compassionate.

I have initially failed to encourage the boys to seriously study the easiest Mandarin audio course here at home.

We all started last June, but so far, I am the only 1 who has finished the 8 lessons.

Sigh. So now I really want to share some useful sentences with them. I have to be creative how to insert those in daily conversation, and make sure I am patient enough to only go at it one sentence at a time.

Stuff I'm babbling about in Mandarin are: eating, playing, clothes and sleeping. In whole sentences instead of just words.

And of course I'm moving on to other courses to widen my own teensy knowledge.

Wish me luck.

How about you, do you want your child to be bilingual or multilingual?

Note : If you also want your kids to start learning Mandarin, the nicest online bookstore for kids I think is www.childbook.com.





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This is Really Is It! How to Make your Child Get Top Honors

After many "second in class" honors, jonesy finally landed on the top spot.

Congratulations, son!

I love how you outdo your parents each and every time.  I'm proud of you.

---

Secrets to make your child get academic honors:

- None.  I absolutely have no techniques for kids to get higher grades.
- My role in the house is to ask "You have home work?"  and "Have you eaten yet?"
-  If child is hungry, cook.  Better if you've cooked before your child gets home.
-  As your child eats, sit at the table.  Ignore your pending deadlines (that's for work at homeys like me).  Just sit.
-  If your child feels like talking while at the table, good.  If not, just sit there.  Watch him eat or eat with him as well.  If your child is chatty while you all sit at the table, ask questions.   Listen. Make mental notes on what to remember.  Especially, note names of friends, what their friends did and those friends' likes and dislikes.  You have to remember because you will make future references to what you've learned.  Your kid likes it when you remember.  Ask your child's feelings about the events.  I think this is a very important point for raising boys, who totally forget about it and tend to not identify feelings as they go along.
-  Make home a safe haven to relax in when your child is tired from school.
-  If you REALLY just HAVE TO badger (because you can't help it), pick a time when your child has rested already.

So why doesn't this piece talk about making a child get top honors?
Because you don't make them.
Your role is to provide a safe haven to inspire them to learn, to excite them to go to school. Inspire them to participate, to work within school rules and let them just be... happy. 

When they're in their element, you can step back and be wowed at all the things they can do.





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I Got an Email from Myself!

Look people, I got an email from me, dated December 23, 2008.
courtesy of futureme.org.

I will share the contents (re: Christmas) because you might also find it useful.





Am excited for christmas, you?






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How do you Preserve Your Family Memories?

Being the low-maintenance mom that I am, I am quite the royal dork-o in organizing the family's mementoes.

Some moms lovingly scrapbook.  My sister was a killer scrapbooker until Multiply came along.  I love all the colorful themed pages,  the cute cropped pictures and the different textures in the pages.  Some moms take care of their photo albums.  Others carefully collect stuff for their memory boxes, keeping all pictures, tags, cards, receipts and assorted kinds of souvenirs in pretty boxes.

My version of "lovingly organizing" the family keepsakes is:
1) Dragging myself to the photo studio to have pictures developed.  Hard copy has its own merits.  Did I mention my original schedule of going to the studio was like, uhmm... 3 years ago?
2) After getting the copies, stack up all those babies.
3) Dump into a box.  Are you looking for a acid-free photo box from me? Ehmm.. *Twiddles fingers.  Looks away...*

I am interested to have a time capsule, though.  This time capsule will be for everybody, not just for me and the boys, but will include my sister and my niece and my mom as well.

I am thinking of a special occasion to have a time capsule ceremony. I'll have my sons and niece pick up stuff that they'd want to include in the time capsule.  I'd like to have the time capsule buried out in our backyard.  Hmm, maybe I'll do this on mom's birthday, since for Mang Napo's birthday we're planning to have a simultaneous christmas tree lighting in our own houses.

I'm guessing a lot of you would also want a time capsule for your family but don't have the space to bury the capsule in.

Why not try an online time capsule? I think there's a great company out there, myheartwill.com, that takes care of your pictures, videos and messages for 10 years.  Unlike your blog, these keepsakes are for private viewing.  It may also be accessed by a guardian.  And unlike a blog, if you totally forget about it, it will still be all there, ready for viewing.

Or better yet, why not do both? One actual physical time capsule and an online one.

Our kids will appreciate these little gestures further on in the future.

Learn more about heartwill.com and about living wills.


How about you, how do you preserve family memories?

Top Reasons Why Books are the Best Gifts for Kids

I wish I'd thought of this article first, but Ms. Rupa Raman very nicely beat me to it.

I just loved her article Why Books Make Great Gifts and just had to share it.

I've always considered myself the "boring gift-giver". Every year, my presents are square, rectangle and flat. You don't need to open the wrapper to know what's inside. Should I even share that my presents are always the last to be opened (and by then the child is distracted looking at the bells and whistles of the gadgets they received)?

They always rip off my wrapper in reflex, and half-heartedly.

Anyhoo, I don't mind. Long after the interesting bells and whistles toys are chucked out in the trash, the books are there and we still read those ;-) Last laugh in the background: Mu-hawhawhawhaw.

Here are her reasons why books make great gifts:

* Nurtures an interest in reading
* Rarely outgrown
* Books serve as an inspiration for other interests - I like this point very much.
* Reinforces an ongoing interest in a hobby or subject
* Unbreakable gift. No parts to go missing, no batteries that conk out.
* Easy to find and carry
* Personalized children's books make the best gifts!

Please see the complete article. A very worthwhile read.





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Thank you, Universe for...

I like thanking the universe for each and every detail i come across with in daily life.  I came across Psychobabble's grateful-for entry and I thought, wow, that's so nice.  Why not blog it as well?  I did tell her I'll nick her gratitude idea.  I'm sure it's fine with her.

Right now, from where I'm sitting,

I am thankful for my sons, who ALWAYS connect me to the universe.
I am thankful for my mom, sister and far-away bro, my work, my work colleagues, my home, the cutie animals who like to chirp outside, the trees, the sun always peeking at me through the trees during sunset, my heartsharers online and in realtime, my body and a little boy peeking at the monitor while i type.

there are more, but the bubble's burst. hee hee. more next time.

Raising (Bigger) Boys

Yep, I have a new son.  A much bigger son.

Last week, my sperm donor's 18-year-old nephew  called and asked me if he can stay over.  Some messy business with his family moving and all, and he asked if he can stay with us so he can focus on school. 

My nephew is a smart, talented and kind boy. Coming from ehmm... (not to diss, but just telling the precise description:) crazy-ass parents doesn't really fit in the grand scheme of things if that's how you are.

We like having him around.  My sons have fun with him, and he's helpful around the house.  Plus when he stays with us, he thrives in school.  During the school's first quarter, he stayed with us and he got into the top 3 because, he claimed, he "can study here" at our home compared to when he's with his mom.  I also enjoy how he talks and talks around the dinner table, asking many questions about friends, his love life and how to do better in school.
 
Today, he came in with his stuff.
"Tita (Aunt), are you adopting me?".  I just grunted.  Translated to:  If I just can, I would.
"Tita, dad's asking if you want anything that he can bring for you? Chocolates? Clothes?"
MF: "None, really. I just want you to go to school."
"Okay."

So now I'm raising all age ranges of boys: tween - early teen - late teen.

Let's get ready to .... rumblllllle....

When Does a Parent Repay HER OWN Parents?

This morning I brought Leon to an enrichment math class and waited it out til they were dismissed. At first, I thought "I have come full circle, waiting for my kid to get out of school on a Saturday morning ." And I thought about all the BS about parents' payback time. But then again, I thought,

Wait. My parents never stayed in school to wait for me.

And then I went into a pleasant reverie into the past about my parents, doing stuff for me without waiting for anything in return.

What dawned on me, is they did all they could for me so that eventually, I will be able to/ want to do stuff for my kids that my parents never did for me.

That's when I realized, I can only start to repay them for their kindness when I'm raising boys in better ways than they did.

I'm sure that would please my dad the most.


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Teaching "Work Ethics" Early

Hah! NaBloPoMo, I'm in today.

- -

When 9 yr old came in from school, he immediately asked me

"Ma, when you're a leader and you set a time to do group work, aren't you supposed to appear at the time you set?"

MF: Yes, son. You should even be there first.

So he told me of how he showed up to prepare for a group work and one leader was nowehere to be found, while the other one was elsewhere in school.

So I had to explain, "Son, remember when you went with me to the office then, we would especially be early when there are meetings? Your group work is just like a meeting. When you set a time for everybody to come, you should come. If you're going to be late, you inform them immediately and tell them why." etc etc etc

Parenthood leaves no rock unturned if you want to position your kid to be considerate and ethical in the future.

I've had countless more discussions with Jonesy that I translate to "when you have your own work or business, this is the expected behavior."

Motherfonker overkill. as usual.


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What kind of Mother...

Yes, I totally forgot I joined up for the NaBloPoMo. I didn't write yesterday. It slipped my mind that I committed to write everyday!

Oh well, anyway.

- - -

What kind of Mother...
Doesn't blog about her son's birthday???

Jonesy turned 14 last Oct. 30.
14 years ago, I was wheeled into the delivery room at 5AM and out popped the scrawny worm baby by 6AM.

The worm baby also screeched LOUUUUUUD and DEEP. The worm baby sounded like a fog horn, really. Later on, younger bro would have a very deep baby voice but even he didn't cry THAT loud when he was born. It gave me the omen that this kid could be such a whiner and disser.

My fondest baby memory of Jonesy was him with his "pet" stand fan. As Jonesy wheeled about in his wheeled walker, he clasped the stand fan (with wheels) and he and his "pet" rolled about. Think of the movie "Up". Something like that.

As he toddled through the baby years, he would develop the knack for doing the things you just taught him not to - and with flair. If you told him not to dip his hand down the aquarium, he wouldn't dip his hand. He would chuck in a toy into the aquarium, say the toddler equivalent of "Oops, my toy." and find him sloshing around (head, arms and half body in the aquarium).

He was smart and had a temper, even in his baby years. He had the toy to shoot the correct shapes through. As he tried to put the star shape through the star hole, and couldn't, he angrily opened the damn toy, slammed the star shape in and slammed the thing shut.

Yeah, well he was quite the high-strung kid and if you had a crappy teen-aged mom you would be too (you have permission to blame the mother with all kinds of "what kind of mother..." stuff).

Fast forward to a decade or so later. Yep, he's still quite the hot headed boy with his brother. But in his other environment of school and friends, he is top in his class, he plays a mean keyboard and guitar and peers run to him for advice. Every so often, he would bring home medals and/ or ask me to come to school and award him with something. And with his mother who he knows has an eagle-eye out for hanky-panky, he surprisingly spoils her in their weird kind of non-mush understanding.

So what kind of mother has a smart, talented and understanding boy for a son? One hell of a lucky motherfonker.



Happy birthday, son!
Thank you for giving me glimpses of the universe with your presence.



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Zit!

One of the things I wished for my sons is to at least inherit my skin type. Unlike their sperm donor who was zitty through his teen-age years, my skin was quite problem free. While my classmates agonized over zits and face treatments, I breezed through my teen years with clear skin. I can have all those “cursed stimulants” to grow zits: menstruation, sleeping late, eating oily food and chocolate, but I came out unscathed.

I think my wish has been granted, so far. Jonesy’s skin is low maintenance and his face doesn’t breakout, only occasionally. I have bought him mild skin cleansers but he does not use these, just the usual bath soap. I hope 9 year old will have it as easy.

Sometimes I would catch Jonesy staring at the mirror for an hour. I know what that means. He is mulling over a pimple. I would cut his silence short “Oi! Don’t even think about touching that!” For us with similar skin types, the usual remedy for a pimple is :

1) Don’t touch it. Leave it alone
2) Let the pimple dry naturally with the usual face washing and bath. The skin will be blemish-free in a few days.
3) Touching it or doing something to it leaves scars and heals longer. So what’s the point?

That’s just for me and the spawns of my loins with similar DNA, though.

If your son’s skin is having things bad with acne or other skin problems, note that it MAY or may not cause bad feelings for him. As adults we may pooh-pooh acne for our kids, knowing that beauty is skin deep. It’s tough enough being a teen-ager finding one’s place in the world. It’s worse when you have to go about and your peers look at you and see your skin, instead of what you are down inside.

For our young men and ladies, acne is a serious matter and it may be distracting them from being in the moment.

If your son’s acne seems bad and you notice he seems to be getting affected by it, you may want to suggest or go with him to see a skin care specialist. Shop around for a dermatologist or skin care center empathetic to young people. Yeah I know, they treat skin, not people’s self-esteem, but if you can get a doctor who can be nice to your kid, the better that would be, right?

Also, if your kid is getting emotionally bothered with severe acne, find tactful (non-invasive) ways to be there for him. You can make him feel good about other stuff, such as his hobbies, sports, or academics. (This is our main task as parents, anyway. Acne or none.)

Strengthen his belief in himself, so much so that eventually he feels great facing himself in the mirror, whatever his skin's situation is.


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NaBloPoMo Whutt?

I keep seeing people signing up for National Novel Writing Month and I think it's great (yeah, weird as well) that people are sure they'll be able to produce a novel in 30 days.

Me, I'm out. I suck at telling stories because I keep messing up the chronology of events of any story.

What I do remember was November last year, people were huffing and puffing to produce 1 blog post a day for National Blog Posting Month. I didn't join then because I don't think I can spit out a post daily. And of course, considering my dork subjects, I sometimes have to wait for days or months for them to come up with something really good that I can write about.

Anyway, this year, I'm in. I believe in the idea that people pick up a habit when they do something everyday for 21 days. I'm hoping that I'll be able to pick up the habit of daily blog posting by the end of the month.

Etchos. Let's see.

I wonder if this counts as blog post number 1 awready?

Visit NaBloPoMo
How come I don't look like this anymore? boo.
The photo was there when I arrived at the profile page.

If you have a blog, sign up for NaBloPoMo too. Trip lang. :-))


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Links to Related Sites

Great sites about stuff I'm interested in, that I'm sure you'll also like: parenting, chick talk, home, education, net marketing, books, movies, kids and more.

SITED and BLOGGED
Parent Reviewers' Directory Listing


My Favorite BAD-ASS WRITER mommies:
Mrs. Bear at OUTNUMBERED TWO TO ONE
Casey at HALF AS GOOD AS YOU
Carol at A Second Cup - Growing Older with Adventure and Grace







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