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Showing posts from January, 2010

Parenting is Always a Series of Goodbyes

Earlier, 9 yr old asked me to accompany him to buy a portable mp4 player. He had his own money so I went with him. After buying, I told him we had to make a quick stop to McDonald's to get his brother a sandwich. He begged me to let him go ahead home. I was quite surprised. The mall was right beside our village. There was only a short stretch and he would be at the guard house, but I was still hesitant.

After a minute or two (but inside my head an eternity of debate has already run), I let him go. But of course, I creeped towards the parallel path with a lot of people where he couldn't see me, and watched him walk away until he was a dot.

While creeping, I couldn't help but be reminded of how parenting is always a series of goodbyes. You will soon have to say goodbye to the sleeping infant when he learns to crawl, then goodbye to the crawling baby when he learns to walk, then run (giving you a series of mini-heart attacks). Then he learns to play with you, and you s…

When Brothers Finally Become Brothers

Could it be?
Am I hearing right?

My 2 sons have always been polar. One is like this, the other is that. One is competitive, the other laid back. One is choosy of friends, the other Mr. Congeniality. During parties, one likes cake, the other ice cream (so I always HAVE TO get both). If I ask what do you guys want for dinner? Simultaneously, one will say "Fried," the other "Stewed".

My eldest is not the type who likes little kids, so you can imagine his orneriness to the younger brother. This plus being 5 years apart, you can somehow expect bullying and neglect.

My sibs and I started the same way. Super bullying and mega fights and hyperduper crying, until it all evolved into a relationship that is just too special for me. My love for those 2 dorks are a notch up above everyone else's. Sometimes, I think, more than I love my parents (weird, but true).

With all the boys' shouting and crying and even bodily violence when they were little, sometimes it bro…

Wow, My Youngest Son is Turning Human

If all kids want birthday parties, my son has always preferred not to have one.

Each and every year, I ask him if he wants a birthday party: No.
How about I bring a simple snack for everyone in school: No.
How about having a kiddie party package in a burger joint: No.

I can't really say he's the shy type. Everywhere we go, at relatives' homes, the playground, day trip to the beach, etc. he always makes a friend or 2 or more.

This year though, he has finally acceded to hold a simple birthday at home. He says he just wants friends to eat over.


He's finally human. At 10.

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Who Do You Use your Best Dinnerware On?

Last new year's eve, I was assigned to host the family dinner for the first time ever. Because of this, I finally got to do something I've been putting off for a long time: get some spankin' new tableware.

After the celebration, while I did the dishes and wiped those dry, my reflexes began to prepare to keep away those nice dishes for storage, to be resurrected again for the next party hosting. Reserve the best tableware and flatware for special occasions and special people, so make sure these are in 1 piece until that next time. These wouldn't survive if I used them daily, with boys' usual butterfingers and horsing around. And besides, other moms do that. They keep away their best dinnerware for parties or dinner hostings.

But then, the inner motherfonker piped up - tut, tut, tut... REALITY CHECK!

Who are the best, the most special in your life? Ehmm... my boys.

When are the most special moments of your life? Emmmm.. When I'm eating dinner with the boys, a…

My 9 yr old is Growing Up too Fast

I noticed these days he's staying up later than usual.

He eats more. As in a lot. And frequently.

Plus the eternal issue of growing his hair long is still here.

And of course, as most boys are, he's always out of the house.

His brother remarked earlier today he seems to act older than the other 9 or 10 year olds. So I told him, "When you were in pre-school, your teacher said you also acted older than your age." And she asked me if you were hanging out with older boys, and I said yes, there is an older cousin he hangs out with. "And so now, with your little brother, there's you. So his interests and behavior matches up to yours as well."

Thank goodness, if growing boys grow further away, this one is now making it a point that within the day, he'll somehow sit beside me here at my desk. And we'd talk some about school, his friends, even for just a bit.

He's turning 10 next month so then he's officially entered the 2-digit age stage.


New Year's Resolutions?

Do you make any during the start of the year?

I don't make a new year's resolutions list, but I do I have this list that I want to happen for the year.

If a list is branded as THE new year's resolutions list, everything gets chucked into the trash, stat.

Maybe because of the implied sweat, blood and tears behind the branding?

I would like improvements in my life, which is what new year's resolutions are for, but I pass on the grit-your-teeth-and-bear-it bs. Life is too short to have to sweat blood over.

I'm guessing the effort-y things in your list involve manic exercise and chores done to neurotic perfection? Definitely not fun.

I have found that most of the time, things in my list do somehow happen through the year, whether I slave away or not over it. So why agonize at all?

Want to make your own list?
- List everything you want to happen in 2010.
- Done? Okay, close your notebook or file.
- Then get on with your life.

If you really just have to obsess over it, fin…