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Birthday is Assessment Time

For me, the time to assess my life is new year and my birthday.

Conveniently, both are exactly 6 months apart.

By now, my main objectives in life are more laid back and zeroed in to the more valuable.  In the past, my main objective was just overcoming the toxic career path, even when I already had kids.

At 34, I have worked hard for things that I thought were important at that time. I have experienced them  all, headaches from overthinking strategies, designs, next steps.  I have skipped sleep, stayed awake and tapped away while my workmates went home and slept,  I left for work trips only to realize on my way home that my kid's birthday party was that afternoon, and I was late, etc. etc. etc.  I have gone on working trips carrying my tiny boy in his pajamas, still sleepy.  I worked while he stayed in a corner of the conference roo -- on a mattress, with toys, books and crayons.  I have decided I wasn't going to miss anymore of my sons' growing up years, and did it.  I stayed home, earned from home, went to school activities even if parents were not invited, and the like.  From being the absentee mother, I learned it was important to listen to children and look them in the eyes while talking to them. I learned to open my heart because 1) it's the only way to get through the exhausting physical work of motherhood, and 2)  because I finally want to.

That is why, at 34, assessing my life now...  my greatest achievement really, is being told by random young people that they wished I was their mom.

According to my objectives in life, and what is important to me now... yes, that is my greatest achievement in 34 years.

Yes, I'm not the greatest mom since I suck at housekeeping. But then, they wanted a mom, not a housekeeper, so I guess I qualify. :-)

As for my sons, their assessment of me is very important to me, but these are things they won't really seriously appreciate until I've gone away, so let's give them a few more decades to think if they like me as their mom.

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Another birthday...

I can't believe my teen is now 15!

I saw my old post about Isiah's birthday in 2008 and wow... time does fly.

Well, Isiah's 15 today and things are still quite smooth sailing.

No honors in school this year, but that's alright.
He is passionate about his music more than ever. I admire that he regularly sets aside time to study and practice music on his own.
He is not as relationship-crazy or girl-crazy the past months, I wonder why.
He is totally into new-age yikies like meditation and chakras.
Seems like he is generally enjoying his school and friends.

I do bare my fangs for him mostly over his chore of washing the dishes, but that's about it. Yeah, boring.

But for this kind of boring, I am totally grateful. Yay.

Happy birthday son. Thank you for honoring my life with your presence. Love always,

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