For me, the time to assess my life is new year and my birthday.
Conveniently, both are exactly 6 months apart.
By now, my main objectives in life are more laid back and zeroed in to the more valuable. In the past, my main objective was just overcoming the toxic career path, even when I already had kids.
At 34, I have worked hard for things that I thought were important at that time. I have experienced them all, headaches from overthinking strategies, designs, next steps. I have skipped sleep, stayed awake and tapped away while my workmates went home and slept, I left for work trips only to realize on my way home that my kid's birthday party was that afternoon, and I was late, etc. etc. etc. I have gone on working trips carrying my tiny boy in his pajamas, still sleepy. I worked while he stayed in a corner of the conference roo -- on a mattress, with toys, books and crayons. I have decided I wasn't going to miss anymore of my sons' growing up years, and did it. I stayed home, earned from home, went to school activities even if parents were not invited, and the like. From being the absentee mother, I learned it was important to listen to children and look them in the eyes while talking to them. I learned to open my heart because 1) it's the only way to get through the exhausting physical work of motherhood, and 2) because I finally want to.
That is why, at 34, assessing my life now... my greatest achievement really, is being told by random young people that they wished I was their mom.
According to my objectives in life, and what is important to me now... yes, that is my greatest achievement in 34 years.
Yes, I'm not the greatest mom since I suck at housekeeping. But then, they wanted a mom, not a housekeeper, so I guess I qualify. :-)
As for my sons, their assessment of me is very important to me, but these are things they won't really seriously appreciate until I've gone away, so let's give them a few more decades to think if they like me as their mom.
Liked this post? You can be notified with newest entries, subscribe to MotherFonker Blog